Oh my God how time flies. It feels like just yesterday that I took the maternity leave and now in less than a month I’ll be going back to work. I have never had an issue with being a full time working mum before, especially that I already have my first child and I’m still going to work up until Naomi’s birth. Yes I’ve experience separation anxiety with Rama, but that only happen for a while and not long after I was already caught up with work, and even doing overtime.
I love him very much, but never have I had this urge to switch off from being a full time working mum to a stay at home working mum. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m giving Naomi an exclusive breastfeed compared to Rama that has half and half with formula. The bonding now feels bigger, tougher, and it tickles my heart just to imagine the days that I will spent in the office without hugging or kissing or nursing her in my arm.
But to really jump off the building and take the step as a stay at home working mum (SAHWM) is something I’m not quite sure yet. Here’s why:
- Being a SAHWM means I don’t have the comfort of a regular monthly paycheck, which also followed by no more company’s privilege on medical insurance, annual holiday fund, annual bonus, and retirement plan.
- I’m afraid that if I choose to work from home, say open my own online business shop or selling food, there is a 50% chance (maybe more) that the business will fail. And with two children (a baby and a toddler) I just don’t know how we could afford their school fund without any job. It’s something I don’t want to risk.
- Will I regret the choice one day and by the time I want to go back on an office work, I’m no longer qualified no suited since I’m already behind others curriculum.
However, there’s also some positive side on being a SAHWM:
- I get to be with my kids and never miss even one of their development milestone.
- I can focus on my blog and youtube channel for a hobby (and probably make it my full time job and earn a little bit of money from it)
- We could lower the bills from having a personal nanny for each of our child and instead I could take care of them myself.
So I don’t know…both side are quite equal if you ask me. And as much as I wanted to be a SAHWM I just don’t know when I’ll be able to take that big step. Probably in the next five to ten years from now? I dunno. What I do know, is that I’ll cherish each and every little details that I can take from spending the time with both child and hope one day God will show me the way.
What do you say? Do you have a thing or two that might make me switch side and decide to be a SAHWM for real?